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anxiousMy mother is pretty mad about my recent appearance on local news and the paper and the internet. She called me 3 times yesterday and I just didn't bother to call back. I knew she wasn't going to be supportive and i was right. I called her back today so i could get it over with. It was actually worse than i expected.
She asked why it was I didn't tell her BEFORE I did this? I told her she got the one "warning" she was ever going to get when i told her i was gay 10+ years ago. I told her the reason I was telling her was that I wanted to be involved in the gay and lesbian community. I guess she either hoped i was kidding or didn't understand what it meant.
She says that God didn't mean for two woman to be married? I need to get some direction in my life...I need to think about what people are going to say...why don't these people who are supporting me and telling me this ok help me find a job in my career field....yada yada...bitch moan bitch moan.
My response to her, in a nutshell, was that she was a coward to not support her daughter's rights as a human being. If Martin Luther King Jr. was a coward like she was she wouldn't have her job or the nice housse she has now. How does she, or anyone on this planet, know what God wants? As a child of God, she's supposed to take care of me, she gave birth to me. I told her she needed to stop being scared of life and stop hating me for not sharing her fears.
When I realized I had said all that without interruption from her, I also realized she did what she always does when she knows she's wrong, or at least not going to win this skirmish with me...she had hung up on me. It hurt me the last time but it hurts less and less every time she does it. My mother is emotionally 14 years old. Teenagers have always been hard for me to get along with, even when I was one.
I know that what I (and my gf) did was the right thing. I didn't need to have any affirmations of that, but we got them just the same. From people we didn't know across the country. The two that touched me most were from people I know though.
The first wa from MaryAlice:
She called and left me a message on my cell. She said she thought what we did was awesome and very courageous. She said thaks for standing up for the rights of all those who can't. This call is significant because MA and I don't really talk to each other any more. We had a falling out and have pretty much avoided or had limited contact with one another.
The second was from my buddy Vanessa:
vanessa called and caught up with me around 3 in the afternoon yesterday. She had me on speakerphone at her office, because she had a coworker with her. She found out about what Kathy and I had done from this coworker AND a mutual acquaintance from Boston. V lives in DC right now. She saw the pic on the internet when her coworker was looking at the San Francisco story on the AP wire. She screamed my name when she saw the pic and he thought she was full of shit until he scrolled down and saw my name. She tried calling all morning , but I was at work. When she finally reached me she sounded so happy and how her coworker found the pic on the 'net and our friend emailed her shortly there after to let her know we had made the news in Boston. Vanessa joked for a minute and then began to tell me how proud she was of us for doing what we did and what it meant to people across the country. And then she started to cry. She had been on the verge of tears all morning. She said she was so proud to have me as a friend. To know V is know that she doesn't cry...about ANYTHING. She's been on her own since the age of 14 and has gone through some serious shit. She's been one of my best friends for over 6 years now and I've never seen this kind of emotion from her.
To all of you who posted comments to my entry, thank you. I tried to answer them all, but I may have missed one or two. Know that was merely an oversight and not meant spitefully. I will continue to do the things I do because it's who i am, it's the right thing to do and I know that others can't stand up for themselves sometimes, for whatever reasons. I only ask that you all continue to support people like myself in the ways that you already do. A simple thank you really does make it all worth while for most people like myself.
She asked why it was I didn't tell her BEFORE I did this? I told her she got the one "warning" she was ever going to get when i told her i was gay 10+ years ago. I told her the reason I was telling her was that I wanted to be involved in the gay and lesbian community. I guess she either hoped i was kidding or didn't understand what it meant.
She says that God didn't mean for two woman to be married? I need to get some direction in my life...I need to think about what people are going to say...why don't these people who are supporting me and telling me this ok help me find a job in my career field....yada yada...bitch moan bitch moan.
My response to her, in a nutshell, was that she was a coward to not support her daughter's rights as a human being. If Martin Luther King Jr. was a coward like she was she wouldn't have her job or the nice housse she has now. How does she, or anyone on this planet, know what God wants? As a child of God, she's supposed to take care of me, she gave birth to me. I told her she needed to stop being scared of life and stop hating me for not sharing her fears.
When I realized I had said all that without interruption from her, I also realized she did what she always does when she knows she's wrong, or at least not going to win this skirmish with me...she had hung up on me. It hurt me the last time but it hurts less and less every time she does it. My mother is emotionally 14 years old. Teenagers have always been hard for me to get along with, even when I was one.
I know that what I (and my gf) did was the right thing. I didn't need to have any affirmations of that, but we got them just the same. From people we didn't know across the country. The two that touched me most were from people I know though.
The first wa from MaryAlice:
She called and left me a message on my cell. She said she thought what we did was awesome and very courageous. She said thaks for standing up for the rights of all those who can't. This call is significant because MA and I don't really talk to each other any more. We had a falling out and have pretty much avoided or had limited contact with one another.
The second was from my buddy Vanessa:
vanessa called and caught up with me around 3 in the afternoon yesterday. She had me on speakerphone at her office, because she had a coworker with her. She found out about what Kathy and I had done from this coworker AND a mutual acquaintance from Boston. V lives in DC right now. She saw the pic on the internet when her coworker was looking at the San Francisco story on the AP wire. She screamed my name when she saw the pic and he thought she was full of shit until he scrolled down and saw my name. She tried calling all morning , but I was at work. When she finally reached me she sounded so happy and how her coworker found the pic on the 'net and our friend emailed her shortly there after to let her know we had made the news in Boston. Vanessa joked for a minute and then began to tell me how proud she was of us for doing what we did and what it meant to people across the country. And then she started to cry. She had been on the verge of tears all morning. She said she was so proud to have me as a friend. To know V is know that she doesn't cry...about ANYTHING. She's been on her own since the age of 14 and has gone through some serious shit. She's been one of my best friends for over 6 years now and I've never seen this kind of emotion from her.
To all of you who posted comments to my entry, thank you. I tried to answer them all, but I may have missed one or two. Know that was merely an oversight and not meant spitefully. I will continue to do the things I do because it's who i am, it's the right thing to do and I know that others can't stand up for themselves sometimes, for whatever reasons. I only ask that you all continue to support people like myself in the ways that you already do. A simple thank you really does make it all worth while for most people like myself.